Controlling IM Abuse at Home

With instant messaging (IM) fast eclipsing most forms of communication amongst teens, parents are just now awakening to reports of its abuse, addiction, and the rise of the phenomenon of cyber-bullying. According to Robert Price, Ed.D., Technology Coordinator of the Haworth, NJ Public School system, most parents of middle school-aged children are aware that their kids instant message, but they don’t fully grasp the concept.

“I am finding that parents, with their very busy lives, are just not savvy about the culture that is emerging from new technology,” he said. “It’s a different culture, and the kids are the ones in control of setting its direction - they have built another playground, the instant message playground,” Dr. Price added.


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“Parents must accept IM exists and that it’s important to kids,” said Dr. Price. But this new culture ought not go unchecked. “Parents should sit with their child by the computer and observe IM chats, particularly for kids new to IM or those in early middle school. The children should let the other kids know that their parents are there and, if possible, the parents can contact buddy list parents to discuss IM use,” added Dr. Price.

“Parents are often unaware of how much time their kids are really spending each day IM-ing,” explained Dr. Price. “When school performance declines and there is a steady reluctance to participate in family or social activities, it’s possible that IM is being abused. I recommend parents approach the issue carefully to avoid alienating their children, but clearly convey the importance of IM limit setting.”

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