Episode 304 - Newlyweds Season 3 Recap and Transcript

Will be coming shortly after the show is aired. If anyone wants to help me out with writing it, please leave a comment!

Posted by Posted by Rachel at 2/15/2005 | Comments (4)

Episode 303 - Newlyweds Season 3 Recap and Transcript

The show starts with Jessica on stage at a concert and she’s interrupted by Nick on a large screen talking to her -

“Jessica I’m so sorry I couldn’t be with you there in Dallas, your home town, on your birthday - I sent something over to the venue which I’m hoping is going to make things a little better.”

Suddenly he walks in with a little puppy under his arm, Daisy! She rushes over and is so excited, she mentions something about the dog having big toenails (?!).

Six months later…

Nick tells off Daisy for pooping on the carpet. Jessica doesn’t feel like picking it up.

(more…)

Posted by Posted by Rachel at 2/12/2005 | Comments (10)

Episode 302 - Newlyweds Season 3 Premiere Recap and Transcript

It’s night time at the Simpsons’ house and Jessica and Nick has a couple of friends over.

Jessica: “I have to go to the dentist I have like pounding headaches.”
Female Friend: “That’s retarded, go to the dentist.”
Jessica: “I know. I had six cavities before we got married and I still haven’t got them filled.”
Female Friend: “Jessica! Oh my god.”
Jessica: “I just get cavaties really easy.”
Nick: “You know what a root canal is right?”
Female Friend: “You freak!”
Jessica: “It’s in the root.”
Nick: “It’s torture. It starts out as a regular cavity but if you don’t get it taken care of it gets deeper and deeper and deeper.”
Jessica: “Yeah I know, I’ve waited for three years before”, crossing her arms tighter. “I hate teeth.”
Everyone laughs and the male friend says he hates teeth too.
Nick: “I’m with ya, I hate taking care of teeth too.”
Jessica: “I hate brushing them, I hate taking care of them. I hate going to the dentist.”
Female Friend: “Do you floss?”
Jessica: “No.”
There’s more laughter.

(more…)

Posted by Posted by Rachel at 2/4/2005 | Comments (6)

Episode 301 Newlyweds Season 3 Premiere Recap and Transcript

Jessica and Nick

The show starts off with Nick and Jessica all dressed up talking in their chauffeured car:

Nick: “Well, our two year anniversary - an awesome second year.”
Jessica: “It was a better second year than first year. What did we get each other last year?”
Nick: “Um, I can’t rememeber.”
Jessica: “I can’t either.”

I think that the chauffeur says something about what Jessica gave Nick for a present and then Nick swears.

Jessica: “Nick, you are.”
Nick: “You are by far.”
Jessica: “I am the easiest. Ow.”
Nick: “You have to go and spend a freaking fortune everytime.”
Jessica: “No, that is not true!”
Nick: “I’ll buy you another piece of jewelry that I’ll see for a month then I’ll never see again.”
Jessica: “That’s not true.”
Nick: “Like the heart pendant.”
Jessica: “I knew you were going to bring that up.”
Nick: “Where is it?”
Jessica: “I love that.”
Nick: “Do you know where it is?”
Jessica: “Yes I do too.”
Nick: “Probably lost it.”
Jessica: “No it’s in my safe. I think.”
Nick: “Your safe?”
Jessica: “Whatever it is, that jewelry thing.”
Nick: “Your drawer?”
Jessica: “My drawer.”
Nick: “Tennis bracelet?”
Jessica: “It’s in my jewelry drawer.”
Nick: “I’d know, that’s what I’m saying. It never leaves the drawer.”
Jessica: “I wore it last night.”
Nick: “You did not.”
Jessica: “I love that bracelet.”
Nick: “You are a complete ****en liar, you just sat there bull****ing. Unbelievable.”
Jessica looks at her arm: “I’m so pale.”
Nick: “Nice topic change. Never good enough.”
Jessica: “What you’re saying doesn’t always have to be diamonds and all kinds of stuff.”
Nick: “It doesn’t?”
Jessica: “No! Ew. Who do you think I am?”
Nick: “The way to ensure myself I get burned it not to give anything at all.”
Jessica: “Ooh I just had an idea, I know what I’m getting you.”

(more…)

Posted by Posted by Rachel at 1/28/2005 | Comments (4)

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