Howard Stern - Day One - Part Two
So Howard tells us that he’s married and Robin says that he owes her a million dollars after he said he’d never get married again on KROQ and she bet him a million dollars that he would. He asks everyone what they thought about his announcement and then he tells them all that he’s not really married and that he just wanted to see who would be happy for him. It all started from a rumor that they got married on the beach when they were away on holiday. It turns out there was a wedding on the beach so they just played along to get people to tune in to find out what the real deal was.
Howard lists off eleven revelations that belong to one each of Howard, Robin, Artie, Fred, Benjy, Jd, Gary, Sal, Richard, Scott the Engineer and Jason.
- I cheated on my wife, and she caught me
- I once hid in a bathroom closet and pleasured myself when my family members went to the bathroom
- In the last year, I got a girl pregnant and had to pay for her abortion
- I think I’m addicted to porn. I jerk off twice a day and prefer to masturbate that have real sex
- I have spent well over $10,000 on internet porn
- My buddy and I once ordered massage girls to our hotel room but they ripped us off and we were left staring at each other in our underwear
- I have pleasured myself with meat and vegetables
- I have a half-sister who I’ve never met and don’t want to
- I have had cosmetic surgery
- I guy once blew his load on my chest
- I once had my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning and when I woke up in the hospital an acquaintance of the same sex was fondling my genitals
.
They are going to leave the answers for a week to give everyone time to speculate as to which revelation belongs to who.
After playing a couple of songs to give Howard and his team time to go pee pee before the press conference starts, George Takei begins his announcing.
“I’m your announcer, George Takei. It’s my pleasure to introduce to you the man who has been called “King of all Media”, he has been listed in Forbes magazine as one of the 100 most powerful celebrities, he has authored two best selling books, he has starred in the hit motion picture that documented his early years in radio, the man whom everyone in radio has stolen most of their ideas from, the man who is a witted satirist as well as a human being. A man who will guide the world of media into the twenty first century because he as close to a god as I have ever seen. A man more self absorbed than William Shatner. Howard Stern.”
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