Satellite Radio

So Howard tells us that he’s married and Robin says that he owes her a million dollars after he said he’d never get married again on KROQ and she bet him a million dollars that he would. He asks everyone what they thought about his announcement and then he tells them all that he’s not really married and that he just wanted to see who would be happy for him. It all started from a rumor that they got married on the beach when they were away on holiday. It turns out there was a wedding on the beach so they just played along to get people to tune in to find out what the real deal was.

Howard lists off eleven revelations that belong to one each of Howard, Robin, Artie, Fred, Benjy, Jd, Gary, Sal, Richard, Scott the Engineer and Jason.

• I cheated on my wife, and she caught me
• I once hid in a bathroom closet and pleasured myself when my family members went to the bathroom
• In the last year, I got a girl pregnant and had to pay for her abortion
• I think I’m addicted to porn. I jerk off twice a day and prefer to masturbate that have real sex
• I have spent well over $10,000 on internet porn
• My buddy and I once ordered massage girls to our hotel room but they ripped us off and we were left staring at each other in our underwear
• I have pleasured myself with meat and vegetables
• I have a half-sister who I’ve never met and don’t want to

.

• I have had cosmetic surgery
• I guy once blew his load on my chest
• I once had my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning and when I woke up in the hospital an acquaintance of the same sex was fondling my genitals

They are going to leave the answers for a week to give everyone time to speculate as to which revelation belongs to who.

After playing a couple of songs to give Howard and his team time to go pee pee before the press conference starts, George Takei begins his announcing.

“I’m your announcer, George Takei. It’s my pleasure to introduce to you the man who has been called “King of all Media”, he has been listed in Forbes magazine as one of the 100 most powerful celebrities, he has authored two best selling books, he has starred in the hit motion picture that documented his early years in radio, the man whom everyone in radio has stolen most of their ideas from, the man who is a witted satirist as well as a human being. A man who will guide the world of media into the twenty first century because he as close to a god as I have ever seen. A man more self absorbed than William Shatner. Howard Stern.”

Nearly every entertainment show, be it on radio or TV, starts with a song or some kind of music. Launching Howard Stern’s brand new show free from the FCC was no exception. If you’re familiar with the theme music from 2001: A Space Odyssey then you would have easily recognised it through the ‘tuneful’ farting. As the music fades, George Takei, the original Mr Sulu from Star Trek who will be Howard Sterns announcer for his show, announces that it’s the first show for Howard Stern and that it’s Monday, January ninth in the year of our lord, 2006 and welcomes us all and is thankful that those annoying heartbeats are off the channel.

George then introduces the stars. Firstly the expensive, much ballyhooed, King of all Media Howard Stern - the most testosterone filled hetrosexual on the planet. Then, the rest of the crew, listed alphabetically and by sexual orientation.

George then tells us that they’re broadcasting live from a studio that is so incredibly beautiful that it would be a real shame if they got fired.

Howard’s first words are “Thank you George Takei. Of course in typical Stern show fashion we are riddled with technical problems.”

There is plenty of feedback and squealing and they joke that the media will probably be scribbling away and saying that they were looking for ads to play within the first nine minutes so they could fix the problems.

It all seems a little unorganised as they fumble around trying to find a song to play instead and there is a lot of discussion about what they might play.

They eventually get the song to play and tell us that they’ll get everything fixed and then come back and launch the show properly.

After interrupting the music thinking they have it fixed, there is still squealing in their headphones. After they think they’ve finally got it sorted again, they pass the mic back to George Takei to re-introduce the show. Roll the music…

Sirius - the final frontier. This is the maiden voyage of Howard Stern’s Satellite Radio Show. His five year mission:

• To seek out new lesbians with sexy stories to send in
• To have a drunken black midget speak as rudely and incoherently as possible
• To boldly go where other hacks in the radio business refuse to go because Howard is brave and they are a big bunch of pussies

And now… the Howard Stern show.

Howard then gives a wrap up of what’s been happening since his last show on terrestrial radio. He refers to the recent announcement that Sirius made about reaching 3.3million subscribers and that conservatively they bought in 2million subscribers. He also says that there were more activations yesterday than there were on Christmas morning which had more than 180,000 and there were points when subscribers couldn’t activate due to high volumes. So they’re really excited that people are following them across which is pretty much a slap in the face to the media who have been saying that they wouldn’t. Howard says that he’s really proud to be a part of Sirius and he sees the future of Satellite Radio as really exciting as he has seen all the energy and money being spent on programming and music.

Howard talks about his last show and how he was disappointed that he changed his game plan and missed some of the speeches. But he’s thrilled that they’ve got a good couple of million listeners which, although they had 20 million listeners on terrestrial, it’s about the same numbers as what gets the cable networks crowing about.

Howard then uses the F word for the first time when he says “and isn’t this a great friggen environment. If you’ve just become a new subscriber you just start tuning around the dial even when we suck. You’ve got to be saying to yourself this is f*ing great.”

They then decide to talk about the whole use of expletives but manage to get side tracked and end up talking about Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis.

Howard says that he has a no cursing rule, particularly for Sal who beat the dirty words to death in the dress rehearsals and it just wasn’t funny.

They give out the phone number for the first time and ask for callers to call 1-888-9ASS-HOLE.

Eddie is the first caller and he’s a bit low in the mix. He’s full of praise and says he’s made his day. They move on to the next caller as he didn’t have anything to say.

Howard says he was so done on terrestrial radio with all the commercials and FCC. He’s excited to be on air but thinks he would have liked to have been off air for another 6 months and just do interviews because there was no way he was going to be able to live up to all the hype.

Howard says that they have a billion things that they want to play that they’ve never been allowed to play because of the censorship. And with that, they play an uncensored song with some explicit sexual content from the Pat O’Brian sex tape. Afterwards they joke that Pat O’Brien is building a rocket to knock them off the air.

With that they talk about the Pat O’Brien’s uncensored sex tape.

They explain that the reason they chose the phone number 888-9ASS-HOLE was because when they were on normal radio, the FCC had said they weren’t allowed to use the word while other radio DJ’s were allowed to which was a rather double standard.

They play more music and mix in the sex tape over the top and Howard says he wants to get Pat O’Brien on the show to find out if he got the girl that night.

At 8:00am they are having a press conference and Howard says that’s the last bit of press he is going to do for a while.

They then talk about George’s first sexual experience, with an older man, at a boy scouts camp when he was 14.

They play a clip from NBC who have been reporting on the show and in typical one media vs another media, take the piss out of their opening few minutes of technical issues. It’s always funny hearing what a competing media has to say about another.

Howard then decides that he should call David Lee Roth who has taken over his old show to give him some help and advice. They can’t get through though because the old hotline isn’t working so they try calling another number but get put through to their old office which has their old voicemail answering the phone.

They inform us that they are going to provide some revelations at 7:30 and then Howard is going to tell us whether or not he’s married.

Apparently Sirius hardware has been selling out and yesterday there was a nine hour wait to get activated.

David Lee Roth has declined Howard’s offer to talk to him during his premiere show despite how he was wanting to get Howard on there in the first place. They talk through the reasons as to why they might not have taken Howard’s call. They suggest that it might be that they would be scared he would promote his new show on air but I think they might be afraid that he would say something that would upset the FCC.

Howard says that if they had put him through to talk to David Lee Roth then he would have said that any radio show on terrestrial takes a year to 18 months before it reflect audience participation - good or bad - and that he’s got to have time to develop his show. Then he would have gone on to tell him that he heard his first show and how he had his uncle on air and that he thought it was horrible. He then would have asked him to give his english co-host a lie detector test to see if he was lying when David asked him what he thought of his uncle and he told him he thought he was great.

They talk about how he seems to be afraid to take dangerous calls and mock his “Reality Radio” thing as he seems to be afraid to be straight up and put his ass on the line as was the case when a female caller asked him about all the stories that he’s been with all these women all his life but no one has ever heard of any of them and wanted to know who he was with now and he replied he wouldn’t say because he didn’t want a Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson.

They do a bit of a piss take at George’s old colleague from Star Trek, William Shatner. They don’t stop there. David Letterman is the next target in “tissue time with Heidi Cortese”.

The XM Passport is a tiny, portable satellite radio tuner that delivers XM Satellite Radio to any XM-Ready device utilizing XM Connect and Play technology. At only 1.3×1.65×0.44, this tiny device incredibly contains everything you need to deliver XM to your hardware.

The XM Passport is simply inserted into the docking station connected to your hardware or inserted directly into the internal port.

The XM Passport enables single subscription holders with the ability to receive XM Satellite Radio on multiple devices.

The device will be available in Sping 2006 for $29.99.

CSR expects to have 75,000 subscribers to XM Canada by August 2006 and but doesn’t expect to crack 1million subscribers until August 2010.

100,000 XM Satellite Radio receivers were shipped to retail for Christmas.

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The Sportscaster is the new XM Satellite Radio receiver from XM and Advanced Global Technology, LLC (AGT). The Sportscaster is a plug-and-play satellite radio that has unique functions designed for sports fans, such as presets for XM sports channels and streaming data about when and where to find live games on XM.

XM Satellite Radio, the nation’s leading satellite radio company, and Advanced Global Technology, LLC (AGT) today introduced the Sportscaster(TM), the latest plug-and-play
satellite radio for enjoying XM Satellite Radio in the car, at home, or on the go.

The Sportscaster (MSRP: $59.99) is a sleek, versatile XM receiver with a two-line display screen. The black glossy finish and compact size make the Sportscaster a particularly attractive choice among plug-and-play satellite radios, and the receiver has unique functions and portable options designed for sports fans.

The Sportscaster plays XM’s full line-up of 160 radio channels, including the most live sports play-by-play on satellite radio, plus a wide variety of music, news, talk and entertainment programming.

The Sportscaster has 30 channel presets, including pre-programmed presets for XM sports channels such as the baseball talk radio channel MLB Home Plate and hockey talk channel Home Ice, as well as a special XM channel that provides continuously-updated text about when and where to find live sports broadcasts on XM.

XM is the sports leader in satellite radio with more than 5000 live sports events in 2006. XM is the official satellite radio network of Major League Baseball, NASCAR, the PGA TOUR, IndyCar Series, World Cup Soccer, and the college sports conferences ACC, Big Ten, and Pac-10. Hockey fans can tune into NHL games and the Home Ice talk channel on XM, which will become the exclusive satellite radio home of the NHL in 2007. XM has NBA games and a broad range of other live sports on ESPN Radio, and it has the 24-hour Spanish-language sports channel XM Deportivo.

Plus, XM delivers the best in sports talk radio, including exclusive XM shows hosted by Duke University basketball’s “Coach K” Mike Krzyzewski and NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson, as well as sports commentator Tony Kornheiser, ESPN Radio, ESPNews, Fox Sports Radio, and Sporting News Radio.

The Sportscaster satellite radio comes packaged with car accessories that wirelessly transmit XM Satellite Radio to any car’s FM radio, so sports fans can hear their favorite teams as they travel from coast to coast. The receiver slips into an optional personal-wearable kit with headphones for listening to XM at the stadium or on the go. Other optional accessories for the Sportscaster include a boombox that’s tailor-made for tailgate parties and a home docking station for listening to XM in the home or office.

“The Sportscaster is a terrific choice for consumers who want a simple, versatile satellite radio, and it’s specially designed with the sports fan in mind,” said Dan Murphy, Senior Vice President, Product Marketing and Distribution, XM Satellite Radio. “We are very pleased to be working together with AGT as our newest partner on our latest plug-and-play satellite radio.

The Sportscaster is ideal for fans who want the best sports package in satellite radio, and it makes it easy to find all the games you want to hear.

Plus, XM has an incredible variety of programming above and beyond our sports line-up, including commercial-free music channels, live concerts, children’s programming, stand-up comedy, talk radio, and much more.”

“We are extremely excited about our partnership with XM Satellite Radio and the introduction of the newest plug-and-play satellite radio for XM, the Sportscaster,” explained Mark Alford, Vice President, Strategic Alliance for Advanced Global Technology, LLC. “The Sportscaster satellite radio, combined with the premier leadership of XM in sports coverage, will provide sports fans and enthusiasts the very finest in sports, news, talk, and music entertainment.”

Etón Corporation, the design-driven leader in radio and portable audio products, today announced an expanded product line-up incorporating XM Satellite Radio, the nation’s leading provider of satellite radio, to offer its 160-plus digital channels of choice from coast-to-coast; commercial-free music and premier sports, talk, traffic, comedy, children’s and entertainment programming to Etón customers.

The expansion shall include introduction of a new table radio to be demonstrated at the Consumer Electronics Show 2006 in Las Vegas. With the official launch in Q206, the new table top radio will offer AM/FM and XM Satellite Ready technology, providing an affordable and stylish home audio product. Further, the new Etón unit will incorporate XM’s newest expansion of the Connect-and-Play system, allowing users to easily add XM functionality to the unit via the external antenna and subscription.

“Etón offers an incredible range of innovative radios, and we are pleased that XM Satellite Radio is part of the Etón offering,” said Brian Shea, Vice President of Product Marketing and Distribution of XM Satellite Radio. “Etón’s radios offer superior sound quality, which is an ideal way to enjoy America’s largest playlist on XM.”

“Etón was among the first manufacturers last year to utilize XM Satellite Radio’s “Connect-and-Play” antenna platform announced at CES 2005, and we are enthusiastic to further expand our relationship with XM,” said Dr. E. A. Hozour, CEO of Etón Corporation. “Our commitment to impeccable design, superior sound, and access to world-class programming from anywhere around the town, the country, or the globe is further substantiated through our partnership with XM Satellite Radio.”

The Belkin Audio System and Portable Audio System for the Delphi RoadyXTâ„¢ and Audiovox Xpressâ„¢ turns your XM player into a portable receiver

With Belkin’s Audio Systems and Cases for XM Plug-n-Play players, you can play and protect your XM device. The XM Audio System and Portable Audio System for RoadyXT and Xpress let you enjoy XM Satellite Radio® programming in virtually any environment. The Cases offer durable protection with pockets to store both your player and your remote control. The XM Audio System will be available in February 2006 in North America, while the Cases and Portable Audio System for RoadyXT and Xpress will be available in March.

The accessories will be on display at the 2006 International CES Show in Las Vegas, NV, January 5–8, at 31247 South Hall and at Macworld Conference & Expo in San Francisco, CA, January 10–13, at 717 South Hall.

XM Audio System for RoadyXT and Xpress (F5X007) - $99.99
The XM Audio System is a boom box that is compatible with the Delphi RoadyXT and Audiovox Xpress Plug-n-Play receivers. With its integrated handle, water-resistant cover, and stylish looks, the XM Audio System is versatile enough to go from the poolside to the home office. The XM Audio System operates on either eight C-cell batteries or an included AC power adapter; the system also includes an XM home antenna and wireless remote control. It has a two-way speaker system—5W RMS/channel with four-inch woofers and 13mm tweeters.

Portable Audio System for RoadyXT and Xpress (F8E724) - $99.99
The Portable Audio System for XM lets you take your XM Plug-n-Play receiver out of its traditional home and/or car environment, and use it anywhere. The System includes the TunePower® for XM, a rechargeable battery pack that attaches directly to your receiver, functioning as a portable power supply. The System also includes Antenna Headphones, which offer improved reception over standard external antennas because of an integrated antenna. It features a built-in volume control that is easily accessible on the headphone cord. This System also offers a convenient sleeve and belt-clip design.

Zipper Case for RoadyXT (F5X014) - $19.99
The Zipper Case for XM provides a durable solution for storing, carrying, and protecting your XM receiver. The zipper-case design allows for the XM receiver to be easily accessible while completely protecting the unit from everyday wear and tear. Its stitched inside pockets accommodate both your XM receiver and remote control for convenience. This Case is constructed of high-grade, microfiber construction and is available in black.

Zipper Case for Xpress (F5X015) - $19.99
The Zipper Case for XM is a durable solution for storing, carrying, and protecting your XM receiver. Its zipper-case design lets you easily access your XM receiver while completely protecting it from everyday wearand tear. The stitched inside pockets accommodate both your XM receiver and remote control. This Case is constructed of high-grade, microfiber construction and is available in black.

WORLDSPACE® Satellite Radio, one of the world leaders in satellite-based digital radio services, yesterday received authorization from the Federal Communications Commission for its satellite operating subsidiary, AfriSpace, to launch and operate the AfriStar-2 satellite. The AfriStar-2 satellite is already constructed and is currently in storage in Toulouse, France. It is intended that, at the time AfriStar-2 is launched, it will be inserted into geosynchronous orbit at 21º East Longitude. The satellite will be co-located with AfriStar-1, which has sufficient capacity to serve at least one linguistic market in Western Europe. AfriStar-2 will allow WORLDSPACE to expand its digital satellite radio services into Western Europe. It is also intended to serve as a replacement with respect to certain areas currently covered by AfriStar-1 when that satellite reaches the end of its operational life.

Since 1999, WORLDSPACE has offered fixed and portable satellite radio services in Western Europe via AfriStar-1. WORLDSPACE has priority rights throughout Europe, the Middle East and Africa to use the L band frequencies allocated by the International Telecommunication Union (ITU) for satellite radio. Currently, WORLDSPACE is developing a new mobile receiver for distribution to consumers in the European market. This new receiver, coupled with AfriStar-2’s additional broadcast capacity, will enable WORLDSPACE to offer a great variety of Euro-centric music, sports, news and talk radio programming to mobile and home subscribers throughout Western Europe.

Noah Samara, Chairman and CEO of WORLDSPACE, stated, “The FCC’s authorization is great news for us. It removes any uncertainty about having a license to operate AfriStar-2 and allows us to implement our European launch plan. This will give us expanded capacity to provide a focused satellite radio service to European markets in line with the company’s execution plans.�

In addition to granting this license, the Commission waived the requirement that WORLDSPACE pay a $3 million bond, because the orbital location and frequencies requested for AfriStar-2 are being used currently by AfriStar-1.

DiskOnChip(R) H-series architecture offers ease-of-integration, proven deployment record, multimedia performance levels and multi-sourced, high density, underlying NAND flash media

M-Systems (Nasdaq: FLSH), an industry leader and innovator of flash-based data storage devices, today announced that its DOC H-series embedded flash drive (EFD) has been selected by XM Satellite Radio as the embedded storage solution for the recently launched XM portable radio receivers: Samsung’s Helix and Nexus products and Pioneer’s Inno product.

M-Systems’ DOC H-series EFD provided XM Satellite Radio’s system designers with an easy-to-integrate storage solution, utilizing the latest high-density multi-sourced NAND flash media, including MLC NAND, overcoming demanding product design schedules. Providing high reliability and multimedia performance levels, delivered through M-Systems’ flash management technologies such as the patented TrueFFS(R) flash file system, DOC H-series is well suited to meet the growing demand for high density storage in personal media players.

“M-Systems’ DOC H-series, with its standardized NOR-like interface allowed our designers to meet demanding time-to-market schedules with the new portable XM Satellite Radio receivers.” said Mark Rindsberg, VP Software Technology, XM Satellite Radio. “Thanks to the DOC H-series’ standard EFD interface, we were able to efficiently tap into the latest NAND flash media, including MLC NAND, and adopt a no-tradeoff approach to flash storage for this exciting new product.”

“We are proud to be a part of the XM Satellite Radio digital audio experience,” said Noam Kedem, vice president marketing for M-Systems. “M-Systems’ DOC H-series helps system designers utilize the latest flash technologies, while relying on the proven track record of DiskOnChip EFD architecture already successfully deployed in millions of mobile handsets and devices worldwide.”

SelectRadio(TM) Software for Wireless Handhelds Redefines the Portable Audio Experience, Freeing Users from Playlist Fatigue; First to Combine the Variety of Internet and XM Satellite Radio Content with Smart Radio Navigation and Timeshifting Convenience

SelectRadio(TM) software for wireless handhelds was unveiled today here at the 2006 International CES. Users of handhelds with wireless capability and SelectRadio(TM) software now can listen live to thousands of Internet radio stations and XM(1) Satellite Radio’s online music, news and comedy channels. The software also lets users timeshift programs and set up groups of favorite stations for easy access, monitoring and navigation.

According to the Internet and Multimedia 2005 Arbitron/Edison Media Research study, variety and control are leading reasons consumers listen to internet radio. Similarly, satellite radio listeners report that their best experience with the service is diversity of content and programs, according to a 2005 study funded by the National Association of Broadcasters.

SelectRadio lets users sample and create groups of favorite channels, then display what each station is playing. SelectRadio’s patent-pending HyperScan(TM) technology automatically seeks favorite artists and can be set to skip specified artists. To assist listeners in exploring new artists, SelectRadio provides a unique TrackSnap(TM) feature which can capture a song from the beginning, even if the listener didn’t select the song until midway through the initial play.

For live listening, SelectRadio uses the handheld device’s wireless Ethernet or USB connection from the desktop to connect to any of thousands of Internet radio channels streaming in MP3 or Windows Media formats. For example, SelectRadio provides easy access to more than a thousand free Shoutcast stations (http://www.shoutcast.com). In addition, SelectRadio receives XM Radio Online channels, available by separate subscription.

Timeshifting features in SelectRadio include a flexible scheduler that can be set for specific times or for pushbutton quick start. In timeshift mode, the artist and title information is captured for easy navigation during playback. SelectRadio also lets users scroll through the displayed song artist and title list to jump to specific songs. During playback, users also can add artists to “seek” and “skip” lists.

SelectRadio is compatible with Intel XScale 270-powered handhelds, including the latest family of Dell Axim(1) devices, the HP iPaq(1) hx series and others with Microsoft Windows(1) Mobile 2003 or Windows Mobile 5.0 operating systems.

Also announced at CES is the SelectRadio “Rock Your Handheld” contest at http://www.selectradio.com. Site visitors can register for a chance to win a package of upgrades including a SelectRadio license, two gigabyte storage card, portable speakers, earbuds, FM transmitter and an XM Satellite Radio gift card.

SelectRadio will be priced at $35 for a device-specific license. A free beta version is available now at http://www.selectradio.com. Beta version users can receive a free electronic coupon good for 20% off SelectRadio v1.0 software, which will be available in February 2006.

(1) All brands and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. XM Satellite Radio Online requires a separate subscription.